Category Archives: friends

GROWING UP!!! Part – III

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When I was a little kid all I read was Enid Blytons and Nancy Drews. My school’s library would overflow with them. Whenever I would get angry at my parents I would sit in my room and think about ways to make them feel sorry for whatever crime they had just committed. It was stuff like going on a hunger strike or crying till my eyes had swollen or refusing to come out of the room.

 None of these plans came to fruition ever 😦 , because I love myself way too much. Also, I can’t cry for that long. I love to eat, especially when my mother is cooking. And she would make sure she made her-bests whenever I was angry so that I could never say a NO. 🙂

So then I would plan on running away. I was never sure where I would go, to the neighbor’s house?!?! Well they had good chocolates. To my BFF’s house?!?! It would be the world’s longest slumber because the kids in Enid Blyton’s novels were planning to join a circus and while I liked animals then, I was told by Tahir that all opening jobs in the circus involved cleaning the **** and there was no way I was going to do that. 😦 

So one day my parents finally went too far, I don’t remember now what they actually did but they probably refused to buy me a fairy frock or something equally heinous coz that’s what passes for mean and nasty around the Tonde household, and I decided it’s about time!!!

I took with me a torch for if it ever got dark, my sweatshirt, a book, saved pocket money of Rs. 20 and two bars of 5-star. I left one 5-star behind for my sister who had not done anything to piss me off in the last 3 days and thus deserved it. By the way I am a very generous person. 🙂

Thus burdened, I made it all the way across Sunita Market, within the sight of the main gates of Navy Nagar. I realized the only thing I was supposed to do was walk, but how long?!?!?

Reading so much of English Novels, the thing that came to my mind then was, every important scene in Pride and Prejudice involved Elizabeth and Darcy walking in some way, she finds out about his treachery while walking in the woods and returns home to tell him to go away, then they meet again while she’s walking around his estate, and finally the confession of their feelings for each other happens when they’re on a walk. Together!!!

That’s just an example from the great works of romance 🙂 think of anybody else you like, from Tolkien to Shakespeare to J.K.Rowling. Englishmen and Englishwomen novelists will eventually arrive at a point in the story when nothing will do for them but to take a walk. Think over it!!

 As for little Indian me, I made my way over to my favorite BPT gardens in one of the inner blocks of Colaba and settled myself with my book, ate my chocolates and went back home to be greeted with good-natured scolding and cries of relief.

Win… 🙂

Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently!!!! 😉

GROWING UP!!! Part – I

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I am very strict when it comes to my own younger sis. Many a times she has to undergo the brunt of my conservatism. I admit, m fairly conservative when it comes to things like children and their upbringing. I don’t have any but this doesn’t stop me from having opinions. It’s the last remnant of my conservative childhood and I hang on to it, because nothing I’ve seen out there has really challenged it or made me even come close to changing my mind. 😉

In my early teens, I wanted to get my eyes brows plucked the moment I saw a classmate sashay down the corridor in her short skirt and that arched eye-look at age thirteen. I had the skirt, but I wanted those eyes courtesy eyebrow-plucking. Those clean face and big eyes that looked so very adult. 🙂

“I think m ready!!” I told my mum as she got her pedicure done at the salon. 🙂

“Girls are doing it very early these days” said the chinky lady who usually did hers. My mum looked at me and laughed and laughed. When she finally caught her breath, she said: “Cheeee!!!!” EOD. 😦

I had graduated high school much before my mom would let me pluck anything at all. And when I got my eyebrows done for the first time at age eighteen for my cousin’s wedding, it was a family affair with one of my Kakis standing over the poor parlor assistant’s shoulder and whispering “Don’t cry, don’t cry!!!” as my eyes watered. 😦

Of course, my mum being a good mother, we did have talks about personal grooming. From manicure to pedicures, cosmetics to accessories, the best part of growing up with a mom and a hoard of aunts is that there’s no dearth of advice on anything, and everything from acne treatments to what is the correct way to apply an eye liner. 🙂

And we eventually talked about growing up – but the emphasis was always on hygiene, not sexuality. In our house, grooming wasn’t just about being attractive. Every summer my Ajji (my mum’s grand mom) would repeatedly remind me that good grooming is about having pride in oneself. You take care of yourself because you deserve it, not to impress other people.

“This is not the way for good girls to walk around the house before the evening lamp is lit” my Ajji would say “You should first wash your face, then powder, put on a kajal-bindi, comb and tie your hair neatly, change into freshly pressed clothes, and then come to the DEVARA to see the lamp. That’s what a gharachi-mulgi does”.

There was a time in my teens, when I totally refused to comb my hair, and become a Scary Spice (I totally adored Spice Girls), nobody pulled me down and forcibly combed my hair or oiled my hair, nor did anyone force me to change my style. At the time, I thought it a victory over the Establishment 😉 Later I was quite puzzled because the Establishment at our home is quite capable of breaking the backs of ‘little guerrilla’ efforts like that. 😦

It took me years before I realized that part of the lesson my Ajji and mom were trying to teach me was that, self-worth is something only you can determine for yourself. If they’d forced me to look presentable according to their stringent standards, as they well could have at the time, it would only have appeased their sense of worth, their image of a family member, not mine.

They had let me be ME. More importantly they instilled the values of “self-confidence” much before the invention of such classes around my house. My Ajji is not with me today, but I miss her immensely. She never got down to bashing us up and making us understand. She always had her ways of making us learn life’s lessons.

My poor-yet-to-be-born-kids, will have an Infantry-Drill with me around for sure 😉

 

 

Is he the “Chosen One”?!?!?!?

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Have you ever had strong feelings for someone but you are not too sure about him? You felt that he just may be the “ONE” however there may be some doubts lingering at the back of your mind. Or he may be pressing you to take the relationship to the next level and you want to know if this is the right decision. Or you may love him and want to marry him but feel scared about what would happen in the future.

Would your marriage/relationship become a booming success or would you get a broken heart </3 – shattered dreams?

Is he the one or must you search for another?

My gurlies have always been worried about this. So often that, we have discussed this at all the Slumber Parties. What has always worked on deciding if “HE” is the right man for you are  –

1.First think about what it would be like 10, 20, or 30 years from now.

Is he the one you would like to grow old with. The one who would hold your hand and sail you through all the tough times and the one who would sing to you on your 65th Birthday the evergreen famous song “oh! meri zohrajabi, tujhe maalum nahi… ” 🙂

2. Think about what type of husband he would make.

  • Is he a husband material?

If he’s the philander types or one-woman-man types. How much does he believe in the institution of marriage.

  • Would he be able to provide your emotional, physical and financial needs?

4. Is he the type of person you can weather the storms of life with?

This definitely means that do you believe if this person will stand for you and vice-versa.

5. What type of father would this person make? A hands-on one and the one who adores kids or the one you-take-care-of-this-wet-diaper-clad-thingie!! 😐

6. Can you see yourself waking up and living with this person every day?

Meet ups are the ones to give an idea of how we can look, but deep under the tonnes of attitude of a man lies a simple nervous specie who wants to be accepted just as HE is, no-Park Avenues, no- Van Heusens, no- Red Tapes and no- Tag Heurs too.

7. Can he bring you happiness –  not just immediate gratification but lasing happiness?

I know a record number of people who are married to the love-of-their-life and NOW know what happiness is. It can never be replaced with the thrills money can get, its the simple touch of the hands, looking deep into each others eyes and feeling complete, dropping in a mail or a call just to say a HI and raising those heartbeats and many such simple things. Keeping it really Simple is the key.

If you can answer yes to the questions above, well baby you have the right man for you.

What if you are sure about most of the questions but unsure about some of them? Then you need to ask yourself this powerful question – Is he willing to learn or grow in this area? Is he teachable!?!?!

Remember no man will be 100% and it takes Two to Tango, however if he and you have the right spirit,and willing to do what is necessary,it’ll make a brilliant relationship. 🙂

Sunshines…

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Alrite!! So its that time of the year when the best of your friends leave you and go for higher eds. And this time around its Imran who’ll be leaving to join the prestigious Faculty of Management Studies, Delhi. Boy!!! m gonna so miss you yaar. You are the only one who fills my life with chocolates, lunches/dinners, free rides, free gyan, free daant, free long walks err.. enough i guess!!

I undergo this tragic time every year and thank god rains come and wash away my tears. It started with Chichi leaving in 7th standard. But all thanx to her sarkari-phone (which we later found out it wasnt 😦 ) and loooooooong discriptive letters, I still feel her around me.

After her it was Meds, we weren’t even on talking terms when she left, the usual you-din-tell-me-story but I somehow managed to drop a parting gift in her bag, and after eons when she found out we were back on track 🙂 muah..love you for everything and for always BEING THERE..

After Engineering, it was Jags and Imran (yes he’s been away once and its then i realised how much i miss this thickheaded brother of mine). The first time when Jags told me I thought it would be all fine, but when she left i realised the void inside me. No more gup-shup, no more talking abt good looking boys, no more cruising through warden and peddar road on my jet. 😦

Imran was just-a-call-away-buddy, he would be right down my house if he ever heard me even sneeze (ok imi,dun drop ur jaw to the groud its only for the entertainment factor). He’s one guy who pulls me up so badly but then i realise its all worth it. One of the most good-looking guys on this beloved mother earth, I have enjoyed being envied by other girls whenever been out with him. Oh!! not to forget some of my own friends had a crush on him too 😉

Bugs left last year for MBA but she’s been a good girl and been in touch. Hated that moment of separation and distance when we had differences but the big hearted girl she is, she’s forgiven me and forgotten all that.. 🙂

PD had no time to inform us before she left and hence couldn’t meet. But I sometimes feel we are more closer now than what we were when she was in Mumbai. Her FB comments never make me miss her, I read it aloud jus the way she would have said it,  had she been around.. 😉 loudmouth..miss ya.. 😦

Akki was the next punter who’d left Mumbai. Tried to self-satiate that Vadodara was better than Mumbai bt now has finally given up. I really wish sometimes that we three never had to part ways for whatever reasons, I miss them like crazy. We were the bunch of thsoe engineering college teens who’d bunked coll for watching Will Smith movies, to eat that awesome Onion Rawa Sada Dosa, to get drenched in the first rains in Andheri, to watch first day first show of Munnabhai series, to oraganize events at college.. huh.. so much and many more censored stuff. Had it not been for you guys I would have spent my life living a Plain-Jane and not known what LIFE is all about..

Thank you for coming in my life and making me realise, its beautiful just as it. Thank you for coloring it rainbow and  BLACK (I heard it boys).. Thank you for just about everything 🙂

Beloved Acharya Niwas Forever…..

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Going to the same school as mum’s and living in the official accomodation for the teacher’s meant that we had to behave ourselves where ever we went. I mean literally watch out as to what we were doing in the complex, what music we listen to, what do we eat and all. The best thing was to say ‘namaste’ to anyone and everyone. That world had its own charm. Being brought up in a multi-cultural environment meant that all the festivals were ours. We got to celebrate Christmas and Eid with the same enthusiasm as Diwali.

Much before the so called ‘event-management’ courses started, we were given tasks to organize events at our beloved AN(allrite for starters its our haven Acharya Niwas). Dahi handi, Ganeshotsav, Holika, Holi-Sangeet, Diwali-Dhamaka, Haldi-kumkum, Sunder-kand,Baal-Vihar were the events we were so busy with that Holidays hardly mattered. We did everything from arranging for food to making posters to setting up the music to putting up the durries to cleaning up. Almost anything and everything.

At AN we were one BIG FAMILY.

I miss that family, and so does everyone else who’s been a part of AN. We’ve left it eons ago but it still feels like yesterday. I still want to go back to that place where i tumbled, fell for the ‘nth’ time, shouted and screamed when got out in 7 Tiles, hid myself in the corners behind the gol-tanki, played 4-Pillars in the basement till Swami uncle made us run, scratched n tore open the seats of scooters of uncles who would shout on us for making noise, aimed the rocket to ahem-ahems house to take revenge, rang the door bell and ran away, threw eggs with water balloons on Holi, danced non stop on Dandiya Night, ate those world-famous in navy nagar pandey ke garma-garam samose n jalebi, saw the whole world flooded from a haven on 7th floor, sat on the pani-ka-tanki on terrace when mum ws angry, saw the IFR for free from my own window, the beautiful princess street from the living room, well did almost everything that AN got on our shores.

I only wish that we get to relive it atleast for a day or atleast the future gennext who gets the privilege to live in at AN, values it as much as we do.

P.S- Sorry guys had no pic of AN, so m unable to put it up. These are few clicks clicked from B-71.

If  any of you has it, please mail me on gr8heena@gmail .com

girls will always be girls!!

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gosh!!i cant believe the 2 day holiday is already taking a toll on me..not coz i hv to mop around n do rest other stuff at home bt its my girl friends from college whom i am missing. miss the endless talks on things which really dun matter n stuff which would take ages for us to save n purchase.. yes m talking abt the ahem ahem stuff n the gucci bags i n priyanka just adore.. i really dinno that priyanka was all into that which my mom call ‘maddening n useless stuff’ for jlogirls..yes its JLO n ENRIQUE music, the JIMMY CHOO shoes n the GUCCI bags we gaze on all the time.. it was a surprise to know that she’s my twin soul types.. we just exclaim n scream on the same stuff in life..get hard remarks like incorrigible from mrs.easow for chatting non stop..freak..we hv almost the same opinions when it comes to opinions n we r as conservative as any other ‘gavthi’ maharashtrian girl would be..seriously bt our outer personality jus dsnt show it..sad.. :(… ok now enuf of priyanka puran o my mum wil soon start doubtin me.. 😉 .. next in the missin list cms ms.snehal pawar..typical naam bade aur darshan chote..i call her 2 by 2..she hardly minds bt throws tonnes of marathi bad words on others who dare to call her that way..she’s simple n supposedly our all-girls-groups love-guru..matlab woh alag baat hai ki she’l put u into two minds rather than solving urenrique prob..hehe..then cms ms.supriya patade..brains wid sushmita sen type limbs(read looooooooooooooooong)..she’s one hell of a creature..she’s quiet most of the times n is in her own world of cell fon n god knows who on the other line..she’s lk 1% of all the times sweet nahi toh aisi short tempered ke ull run for ur life…last bt not the least ..queen of hearts ms.panchali shivgunde..she’s the sweetest n the most loveable creature on earth..u can nvr dislike her..bt i smtimes cant stand her for her chaste marathi..i kinda faint when she does tht..she n i r always there for each other in easow ma’m’s pracs where she supports me when easow mam opens fire at me..n thts lk the sweetest part abt her..her taste in style n accessories is finaly improving..thanx to me..lol..bt she’s got brains..n i salute her for taking the side of rite always(read me.. ;))..

guess when they say friend is a hand thats always holding urs..i kno wt they mean… 🙂 🙂jimmychoogucci