Category Archives: Uncategorized

Mistakes

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In one of the jobs i ever took I was wrongly informed and hired. Since I don’t take lying so well i revolted. The end result was someone not liking it at the top level and hence making sure I don’t like it at my level too.

I was NOT qualified for this kind of job which I had to stick to, to pay for myself. Another superior here took a big leap of faith to hire me anyways.

I knew I was not qualified, and I acted as such. I avoided making mistakes at all costs, and tried to control everything because mistakes would be less likely.

One day My superior called me into his desk and said “Hey, I want you to make sizeable mistakes, as many times a week for a period of next month or so.”

I was shocked at first, and then liberated next.

My creativity, initiative, and energy were unleashed. My superior was brilliant, he knew that the fear of making mistakes was holding me back.

Stop punishing people for mistakes, celebrate the mistakes as learning experiences.

Agree ?

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Love like that….

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You never demanded anything and it took me a while to get used to it,

To loving someone who never asked for more than how he felt,

It reflects on how we love that we’re conditioned to think it hurts,

And it does – of course it does.

But more than the times you’re hurt , you’re filled with a sense of awe,

For all the times that make you feel that your heart can’t contain the love you feel,

For all the times you lock your eyes with him and it feels that you two are alone.

For all the times your hand fins his and you never want to leave-

It took me a while to realise that this kind of love exist,

The kind that doesn’t demand that you give up loving yourself for you to love him ❣️

It is written!

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Keep fighting or accept what’s destined?

Sometimes…no matter what we do, what we wish or seek or what we work hard towards…what happens is different. Maybe what is written. what is meant to be. what is destined.

So shouldn’t we then stop fighting, change our goals and adapt. Shouldn’t we just accept what that present is offering? And work with it.

We all experience things not going as per our plan. Not seeing results. Then wouldn’t it be wise to Pause. Pause, analyze and rework our goals. Because, sometimes when we stop fighting and accept what is meant to be, we get focus. We can then channelize our time and energy and work with what present is offering.

Adapting is better than giving up, feeling disheartened and losing hope.

So, I hope for all who are trying very hard but seeing no results.. to pause, to re-evaluate, to adapt and keep going.

Advice to my younger self

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1. Avoid negative people, they have a problem for every solution.

2. Parents are a blessing. Time with them is precious.

3.  Hard work always pays off in the end. Tiredness is much better than disappointed.

4. Travel more. Try new experiences.

5. Life is good. Enjoy good moments, let bad ones be teachers.

6. Loyalty is beautiful. Hang on tight to loyal friends and co-workers.

7. Read and write more.

8. Standing up for what’s right can be difficult. Even more difficult is looking at yourself in the mirror when you don’t.

9. “Be good but don’t waste any time proving it.”

10. Accept yourself just as God made you.

11. Solve harder problems.

12. Life is too short to work somewhere where your hard work and loyalty are not appreciated.

Dear Friend Who Knows Me Too Well,

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My father once told me that words are easy to be shared because they seldom carry meaning in today’s world. It is the silence we share with people that speaks volumes about our comfort.

There are people in my life who I see, talk to and share time with, each and every day without fail.

They know my coffee habits and remember the sound of my walk too well. But they don’t come even close to the intimacy I share with you.

Many people may be around for me, but it is your inbox that has veiled my weakest moments for me. I don’t have to worry about making small talk regarding the rains and the sunshine with you, because all my storms unfurl for you to calm.

We don’t have to catch up every night over phone. We don’t need to have a thousand pictures of each other on our phones. We might not know the other person’s routine by heart.

But every time you hurt, you will find me around to talk to. Each time I take a leap of faith, I need you to nudge me one step forward. I know the tremble in your voice, as you can see the love in my eyes.

And when people ask me why this is the best relationship to have, I don’t know what to say. Would our friendship be stronger if we spent more time around?

I don’t know.

I do miss you at odd moments, but the fact that you are always a call away is hope enough.

With you, I find home. It doesn’t matter if I am away for too long. I know it’ll feel the same.

Yours,

No Judgement Call

Why ‘no’ doesn’t feel right?

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In the last year, we’ve seen so much of retaliation the world over around sexual harassment at the workplace and elsewhere too. Here in India, we’ve also been very socially vocal about the #MeToo campaign and taken up the “No Means No” movement that Brazilians have during their world-renowned carnival. While resonance with the issue has clearly left its mark on society, what’s intrigued me most is the ‘why’ in this whole equation. Why is such a simple statement/command misunderstood the world over and why is it so difficult to understand and more importantly believe that no truly means no?

I’ve found the Ariel advertisement in their campaign ‘Share the load’ to be quite apt here – it so clearly emphasises the genesis of this problem. Society has in fact instituted this mind-set within the female community before we’ve even reached an age where we can differentiate between genders. Not to sound too clichéd, but we’re honed into believing thatpink is for girls and blue is for boys from the time we were born. More so is the way most children are conditioned from an early age, where males are given more prominence over females even at home. We have brought up our girls to occupy lesser space than themselves and our boys to be bigger than they actually are! In fact, most wives are tentative about calling  their own husbands by name, referring to them as ‘Tinku Ki Papa’ (Tinku’s dad) for instance, given that he is supposedly the protector and the revered figure at home. So much so that even if the so called protector turns attacker, women are conditioned to stay silent!

When Radio City’s very own RJ Ginnie came across a contest winner who wanted to use the prize money to buy her son a bike and the team went over to award her the prize, they were shocked at her state. She was really emotional, and they were very angry at the state they found her in, with bruises on her face. At the onset, she was not only reluctant to divulge who was behind the assault, but in denial about it. Once they were able to coax her to reveal what had happened, she said that it was her boss who was responsible and slapped and hit her any time she bungled up. What was most concerning though, is that she believed that it was okay for him to act this way, as she always saw women as second-class citizens and thought it acceptable for men to have their way, and treat them as they please. This mind-set we’d say, could be due to her background as she did not belong to a very educated family.

But is it really?

Equally to blame is the way the start of a romantic relationship is portrayed in 90% of Bollywood films. The boy pursues; the girl is coy and reluctant; the boy becomes more aggressive and the girl shyly gives in! Is she willing and diffident or is she genuinely disinterested? The difference is unclear. No wonder NO is often perceived as MAYBE!

On a relevant note, Corporate India has been taking strides to correct the mind-set within its realm, brought about by the Companies Act 2012 which mandated a rather thorough Vigil mechanism – processes and policies and more importantly training thrown in. I believe the training of what is acceptable and what is not, is one of the most important parts of the POSH, since change needs to resonate much deeper in our conscience to effect behaviour positively irrespective of where we are.

We need to instil in the community a higher sense of discernment, which emphasises  gender equality; not only in words, but most importantly through action. Let us not continue to let our girl children be nurtured to believe that they are secondary in any way that it inevitably destroys their self-esteem. From an early age, women should see and feel that their opinions, thoughts and views are at par with men; so, they believe they are equal. And when we say NO to ANYTHING – we should know that it’s alright and so should the men!