Category Archives: love

Ideas!!!

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The best part about being a hardcore marketing student is IDEAS can pep you up any time of the day. And like Mr.Surve says keeping a book for them is the best answer to having a lifetime-supply of IDEAS.

I came across this beautiful video, calling for entries for the Rethink Scholarship by Langara College in Vancouver famous for churning out the best Art Directors and Designers known to the world.

Check the video out for yourselves and be amazed just as I was..

GROWING UP!!! Part – I

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I am very strict when it comes to my own younger sis. Many a times she has to undergo the brunt of my conservatism. I admit, m fairly conservative when it comes to things like children and their upbringing. I don’t have any but this doesn’t stop me from having opinions. It’s the last remnant of my conservative childhood and I hang on to it, because nothing I’ve seen out there has really challenged it or made me even come close to changing my mind. 😉

In my early teens, I wanted to get my eyes brows plucked the moment I saw a classmate sashay down the corridor in her short skirt and that arched eye-look at age thirteen. I had the skirt, but I wanted those eyes courtesy eyebrow-plucking. Those clean face and big eyes that looked so very adult. 🙂

“I think m ready!!” I told my mum as she got her pedicure done at the salon. 🙂

“Girls are doing it very early these days” said the chinky lady who usually did hers. My mum looked at me and laughed and laughed. When she finally caught her breath, she said: “Cheeee!!!!” EOD. 😦

I had graduated high school much before my mom would let me pluck anything at all. And when I got my eyebrows done for the first time at age eighteen for my cousin’s wedding, it was a family affair with one of my Kakis standing over the poor parlor assistant’s shoulder and whispering “Don’t cry, don’t cry!!!” as my eyes watered. 😦

Of course, my mum being a good mother, we did have talks about personal grooming. From manicure to pedicures, cosmetics to accessories, the best part of growing up with a mom and a hoard of aunts is that there’s no dearth of advice on anything, and everything from acne treatments to what is the correct way to apply an eye liner. 🙂

And we eventually talked about growing up – but the emphasis was always on hygiene, not sexuality. In our house, grooming wasn’t just about being attractive. Every summer my Ajji (my mum’s grand mom) would repeatedly remind me that good grooming is about having pride in oneself. You take care of yourself because you deserve it, not to impress other people.

“This is not the way for good girls to walk around the house before the evening lamp is lit” my Ajji would say “You should first wash your face, then powder, put on a kajal-bindi, comb and tie your hair neatly, change into freshly pressed clothes, and then come to the DEVARA to see the lamp. That’s what a gharachi-mulgi does”.

There was a time in my teens, when I totally refused to comb my hair, and become a Scary Spice (I totally adored Spice Girls), nobody pulled me down and forcibly combed my hair or oiled my hair, nor did anyone force me to change my style. At the time, I thought it a victory over the Establishment 😉 Later I was quite puzzled because the Establishment at our home is quite capable of breaking the backs of ‘little guerrilla’ efforts like that. 😦

It took me years before I realized that part of the lesson my Ajji and mom were trying to teach me was that, self-worth is something only you can determine for yourself. If they’d forced me to look presentable according to their stringent standards, as they well could have at the time, it would only have appeased their sense of worth, their image of a family member, not mine.

They had let me be ME. More importantly they instilled the values of “self-confidence” much before the invention of such classes around my house. My Ajji is not with me today, but I miss her immensely. She never got down to bashing us up and making us understand. She always had her ways of making us learn life’s lessons.

My poor-yet-to-be-born-kids, will have an Infantry-Drill with me around for sure 😉

 

 

Is he the “Chosen One”?!?!?!?

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Have you ever had strong feelings for someone but you are not too sure about him? You felt that he just may be the “ONE” however there may be some doubts lingering at the back of your mind. Or he may be pressing you to take the relationship to the next level and you want to know if this is the right decision. Or you may love him and want to marry him but feel scared about what would happen in the future.

Would your marriage/relationship become a booming success or would you get a broken heart </3 – shattered dreams?

Is he the one or must you search for another?

My gurlies have always been worried about this. So often that, we have discussed this at all the Slumber Parties. What has always worked on deciding if “HE” is the right man for you are  –

1.First think about what it would be like 10, 20, or 30 years from now.

Is he the one you would like to grow old with. The one who would hold your hand and sail you through all the tough times and the one who would sing to you on your 65th Birthday the evergreen famous song “oh! meri zohrajabi, tujhe maalum nahi… ” 🙂

2. Think about what type of husband he would make.

  • Is he a husband material?

If he’s the philander types or one-woman-man types. How much does he believe in the institution of marriage.

  • Would he be able to provide your emotional, physical and financial needs?

4. Is he the type of person you can weather the storms of life with?

This definitely means that do you believe if this person will stand for you and vice-versa.

5. What type of father would this person make? A hands-on one and the one who adores kids or the one you-take-care-of-this-wet-diaper-clad-thingie!! 😐

6. Can you see yourself waking up and living with this person every day?

Meet ups are the ones to give an idea of how we can look, but deep under the tonnes of attitude of a man lies a simple nervous specie who wants to be accepted just as HE is, no-Park Avenues, no- Van Heusens, no- Red Tapes and no- Tag Heurs too.

7. Can he bring you happiness –  not just immediate gratification but lasing happiness?

I know a record number of people who are married to the love-of-their-life and NOW know what happiness is. It can never be replaced with the thrills money can get, its the simple touch of the hands, looking deep into each others eyes and feeling complete, dropping in a mail or a call just to say a HI and raising those heartbeats and many such simple things. Keeping it really Simple is the key.

If you can answer yes to the questions above, well baby you have the right man for you.

What if you are sure about most of the questions but unsure about some of them? Then you need to ask yourself this powerful question – Is he willing to learn or grow in this area? Is he teachable!?!?!

Remember no man will be 100% and it takes Two to Tango, however if he and you have the right spirit,and willing to do what is necessary,it’ll make a brilliant relationship. 🙂

Sunshines…

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Alrite!! So its that time of the year when the best of your friends leave you and go for higher eds. And this time around its Imran who’ll be leaving to join the prestigious Faculty of Management Studies, Delhi. Boy!!! m gonna so miss you yaar. You are the only one who fills my life with chocolates, lunches/dinners, free rides, free gyan, free daant, free long walks err.. enough i guess!!

I undergo this tragic time every year and thank god rains come and wash away my tears. It started with Chichi leaving in 7th standard. But all thanx to her sarkari-phone (which we later found out it wasnt 😦 ) and loooooooong discriptive letters, I still feel her around me.

After her it was Meds, we weren’t even on talking terms when she left, the usual you-din-tell-me-story but I somehow managed to drop a parting gift in her bag, and after eons when she found out we were back on track 🙂 muah..love you for everything and for always BEING THERE..

After Engineering, it was Jags and Imran (yes he’s been away once and its then i realised how much i miss this thickheaded brother of mine). The first time when Jags told me I thought it would be all fine, but when she left i realised the void inside me. No more gup-shup, no more talking abt good looking boys, no more cruising through warden and peddar road on my jet. 😦

Imran was just-a-call-away-buddy, he would be right down my house if he ever heard me even sneeze (ok imi,dun drop ur jaw to the groud its only for the entertainment factor). He’s one guy who pulls me up so badly but then i realise its all worth it. One of the most good-looking guys on this beloved mother earth, I have enjoyed being envied by other girls whenever been out with him. Oh!! not to forget some of my own friends had a crush on him too 😉

Bugs left last year for MBA but she’s been a good girl and been in touch. Hated that moment of separation and distance when we had differences but the big hearted girl she is, she’s forgiven me and forgotten all that.. 🙂

PD had no time to inform us before she left and hence couldn’t meet. But I sometimes feel we are more closer now than what we were when she was in Mumbai. Her FB comments never make me miss her, I read it aloud jus the way she would have said it,  had she been around.. 😉 loudmouth..miss ya.. 😦

Akki was the next punter who’d left Mumbai. Tried to self-satiate that Vadodara was better than Mumbai bt now has finally given up. I really wish sometimes that we three never had to part ways for whatever reasons, I miss them like crazy. We were the bunch of thsoe engineering college teens who’d bunked coll for watching Will Smith movies, to eat that awesome Onion Rawa Sada Dosa, to get drenched in the first rains in Andheri, to watch first day first show of Munnabhai series, to oraganize events at college.. huh.. so much and many more censored stuff. Had it not been for you guys I would have spent my life living a Plain-Jane and not known what LIFE is all about..

Thank you for coming in my life and making me realise, its beautiful just as it. Thank you for coloring it rainbow and  BLACK (I heard it boys).. Thank you for just about everything 🙂

Retail Therapy…

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I have a record number of people who can tell you that I suck at shopping. Well not at shopping to be precise but the deciding part.

And I consider it a privilege being a girl that ATLEAST my dad doesn’t mind it a bit. Mum, Sis and friends well u all can go take a hike!!! Eons back I heard “retail therapy” and realised that since the time I was born I have been indulging in it incessantly. 🙂

Even though most of my childhood pocket money was spent at SCC’s chutney sandwich and rasna, i still could manage to save a little and buy self a nice frock for birthdays.

On Diwalis and Dusseras it was a real treat from parents. We would get to buy clothes at Roopam, Sheetal or Craze at Crawford Market. So we never complained even though I always had a shortfall of clothes. My super ballerinas from Dexter at Colaba Causeway was something I always cherished.

Now times have changed and demands have grown. From Cheemo bags now I aspire to have LVs and Guccis. From Dexter I want to move on to Jimmy Choos and Tresmode. Those insatiable-hunger kicks make me go weak in my knees. How much I love my clothes and shoes and bags.. 🙂

But now if you see me I am a very simple, clutter free dresser. Trust me this is the most difficult part of dressing up. First of all you cant chose loud colors, then you have to look for a perfect fit, perfect design, perfect cut, perfect neck, perfect accessories to go with, then the shoes to be matched and finally the bag. So you see, its just not ONLY about buying a dress/ kurti/tee, its about coordination of everything…huh.. I am sure now the Mt Everest expedition looks much simpler 😉

So it begins with the need/demand (I know I am a pucca-marketing-mulgi ;)) Then the shopping area is zeroed on. Most of the times it depends on with whom you are shopping so convenience issue is a major deciding factor. Once that is done a survey among friends is carried out as to who’s recently been to the same place. Well not to know if its a good place to shop at BUT to stay away from it, to avoid buying same stuff and looking like a band-party 🙂

Once everythng is finalised, if the confusion stil persists then the “FREE GIFTS/DISCOUNTS/VOUCHERS” decide. As soon as the shopping floor is hit a bag with probable-to-be-bought-clothes is filled. The trial session starts and with the advent in technology you can 3G ur mum n whoever to take their opinions on it.

Trust me a simple dresser has to wake up at 6.30am for a 9am office. 😦

Shoes to be cleaned, bag to be changed, watch to be matched and so much more. Now please don’t frown the next time I am late. 🙂

14th February..

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If one is to trace back history (of what’s documented) behind the day “14th of February“, one would really find no evidence of Romanticism or Love between two intimate souls , however it’s always good to have so much of love & goodness going around the world on the same day, I guess it in a way would negate any dreaded feelings around us and give our destiny a stop to breathe, if you are to believe in it of course…

I for once never really believed in celebrating such days, but come to think, when was the last time you told your loved ones, people you like, those close to you, those who care about you, “hey, you make a difference to my life, and thanks for being there !“.

In today’s fast paced life, you’d rather bother about being in time for that meeting & skip the breakfast, skip a “Hug”, a “smile”.

If you are one of those who do, here’s your chance, tell them you are thankful, tell them you like them, tell them they make a difference, make them feel they are important…how long will you console your conscience with “They do know I love them, that I care, and that I realize…” they are humans after all, and communication is how we share.

To all those I know have made a difference in my life, the new , the old, the lost & gone. Here’s my note:

“Thank you !”

A WALK TO REMEMBER..

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The woods were lovely dark and deep. Walking slowly beside her, in the damp mud road, was her husband whom she barely knew. He was very relaxed, happily watching a group of kids play at a distance. Her “mehndi” was still dark and smelling fresh, reminding of the excitements and tension 2 days back. “It cant work this way mom… please stop this”, she kept telling her mother till the last moment,who wouldnt listen but carry on with beautifying her. She had been crying all night and her make-up had to be patched up twice or thrice to hide her awkwardly swollen face.

It was too late now. She had to get married “NOW” to the guy. The guy whom she had seen once and talked thrice. The guy about whom she knew nothing at all but for his name and work. Everything happened in a hurry and everything was over before she could breathe again… here was she with this guy, all alone in this hill station… how can anybody send their daughter such a long distance with a stranger???

“Hey look at that….!!!” he shouted in excitement. She shrugged and looked where his finger pointed… Bright colored balloons dotted the sky. Children were jumping in joy and he seemed to be completely absorbed into it… colors are always exciting… but not now. She was not with her friends, not with her team mates, not even with her parents. This was not a 3 day tour or team building trip. This was her life and she has been forced to start off with this person.

Loneliness and discomfort with this stranger was sickening. She looked at him in wonder. Does he even realize that he has married me? Does he understand that he has to love me, protect me, care for me, a new girl, a stranger, all his life?

The marriage morning started like a daylight nightmare for her. The first time in life she felt she should have fallen in love and then married somebody. Some man who she would have felt more comfortable with, someone whom she could call by name and introduce to friends, someone whom she could trust. But marriage morning was obviously not the time to think all this. Her parents would never have said “no” if she had declared that she was in love. But she was not emotionally attached to anybody she met,especially guys. She was very friendly,playing,teasing, but never had second thoughts for any man around her. That brought the entire responsibility of looking for a groom on her parents’ shoulders. Her parents had a very bad time with this entire process. They started their groom search with unending “&” operation. The concatenation of  “Horoscope matching” & “Decent family” & “Good looking” & “Good pay” & “same cast” & so on… that always gave 0 output. Now after all that 8 months hunt,they were not ready to hear her “ifs” and “buts” for this ‘good guy’. She had explained to her father. She does not feel anything for this person. He is nothing more to me than any other software professional. Like list of names she sees in the chat rooms. Distant and usual…Her father asked her to talk to him and even meet him and discuss their likes and dislikes.

That meeting started like the induction programme self introduction and ended like a 3 hour seminar.She was waiting to get away from that place.”So did you talk to him?”. “Yes”. “Was he polite and decent”. “Yes”. “Oh he got that special flavoured tri-color icecream…!!!”. OK. All her family and relatives discussed… She was given the chance to “understand her life partner” and that they have understood each other “well” and she is ready for the marriage now.

All arrangements geared up and it was 24 days after her first meeting that she was getting married to her man… perfect match as everybody else described. Marriage hall was full with excited people, kids got the chance to play, ladies got the chance to wear the silk saree. The smell of rose and jasmine filled the hall. Different poses for the photographer and atrificial smiles for the videos. The moment he had tied the sacred thread was unexplainable vaccum in the head. It was over. She was his wife. Accepted by the society and law. Her proud parents were relaxed. This was their duty they had been planning to fulfill since she was born. All this crowd will fade away, leaving her to explore her new world…

He pulled her hand gently to sit on the stone bench. The bench was wet and the chillness was indeed enjoyable. “So what are you thinking about?”… that was an unexpected ball. Should she reply? Should she be silent? She remembered the two hour presentation she had taken last month. Bold and confident, she kept answering all the queries with a broad smile. Now she remained silent. “Do you know honey… I was not for this marriage too…”  Oh my God… what did i hear??? Did HE tell that or did i think aloud? What does he mean? Didn’t he like me? Was he forced into this? He must have noticed the quizzical look on my face…with a gentle smile he continued… “I wanted to look for a girl myself, buy her everything, care for her, argue with her, laugh and cry with her, then get married to her… Anything otherwise would be a drama. Traditional drama!! and i was not for it anytime. But my love for my work and also my stress would not give me time and mind to search that girl…When your parents talked to me 2 weeks before our marriage, about your fear of getting married, to a stranger, i could completely understand your mind. I could see myself in you and that was the moment i decided i will marry you. There was no time to prove myself to you, make you trust me, everything happened in a hurry. But there was this entire life before me, to please you, to love you, to make you trust me. This is no less than what i had dreamt, the girl i was waiting for, is you. Now tell me… will you love me???”  Tears came down her cheek. Her parents had done more than their duty. They had found her the perfect guy. Thank you Mom!!! Thank you Dad!!! His question remained unanswered yet both knew the answer…